An Old Fashioned Wedding

An Old-Fashioned Wedding

Trendy Waves

Wedding trends ebb and flow like the tide. They rush in powerfully only to be swept away by the next big wave. The power of this year’s wedding trend is quickly absorbed by next year’s fashion wave.

Immoveable Rock

But the heartfelt romance of a simple, old-fashioned wedding is always in style. Like a huge, immoveable rock upon which the trendy waves of wedding trends crash, the powerful simplicity of a good, old-fashioned wedding is as meaningful today as it has been for generations.

Heartstring Tugs

There is often a fine line between a creative, classy wedding that is meaningful and memorable and an opulent, ostentatious social event that is exhausting and expensive. If you feel a gentle ‘tug on your heartstrings’ toward the simple and elegant romance of an old-fashioned wedding, don’t be afraid to follow your heart.

Let It Shine

Let the powerful simplicity of your love and the joy of your ‘togetherness’ define your special day. Let the true romance and deep beauty of your loving union shine through your entire old-fashioned wedding celebration.

All You Need

In addition to eliminating loads of stress and avoiding hefty bills, the timeless elements of love, joy, romance, and celebration are all that is needed. An old-fashioned wedding will evoke the charm of a bygone era and the customs and traditions your parents and grandparents enjoyed will be meaningful to you as well.

10 Simple Steps to an Old Fashioned Wedding

1) Budget - Create a realistic budget with your fiance (and those involved in finances). Commit to live within the budget. Set aside enough for everything you need, some of what you want, and a few indulgences.

2) Venue - Weather permitting, find a garden, a friend’s backyard, a nearby park, or a local botanical garden. For indoor ceremonies, churches are often perfect for an old-fashioned wedding. Older, rustic buildings or historical sites and local bed-and-breakfast establishments also work well.

3) Theme - Think simplicity. Think romance. Old-fashioned weddings tend to favor muted tones and pastel shades such as cream and pale pink. Build upon a traditional motif like roses or angels.

4) Attendants - Keep your wedding party small and intimate. Invite family members or friends who are close to you. Traditional tuxedos (perhaps with tails) for the groomsmen and vintage dresses (matching or non-matching) will honor tradition and create a distinctive look (not to mention the cost savings).

5) Invitations - Set the tone for your old-fashioned wedding with handwritten invitations that you design and mail. Create a simple design (e.g. black lettering with a simple border) and use formal language with proper titles (e.g. Mr., Mrs., Miss).

6) Gown - Look for a simple old-fashioned wedding dress (or any white or cream-colored gown) at vintage clothing or consignment shops. Wearing your mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown can add an element of meaning and nostalgia to your day.

7) Decor - White candles in classic candle holders, greenery wreaths of ivy, fir, or pine, and traditional flowers like lilies, daisies, or roses evoke a sense of pure, romantic simplicity that is timeless. Add a few personal touches that match your theme such as antiques, artwork, or displays of personal/family photos and mementos.

8) Customs - Honor wedding customs of the past by including the heartfelt traditions of a simple, old-fashioned wedding. Agree to not see each other until the ceremony. Have you father escort you down the aisle and toss the bridal bouquet during the reception.

9) Creativity - Don’t forget that the ‘somethings’ (old, new, borrowed, blue) include something new. Add your own creative touches. Perhaps a unique guest book or guest book tree for your guests, a set of sand ceremony vases in lieu a unity candle, or wedding sparklers instead of rice at your reception will add a unique signature to your special day.

10) Fun - The idea of an ‘old-fashioned’ wedding may mean something else to you. Romance is timeless and perhaps you prefer the chivalry of the Golden Age of Camelot, the medieval beauty of Romeo and Juliet, the classic elegance of the Victorian Age, the simple romance of the ‘Little House on the Prairie’ era, or the stylish chic of Gatsby’s roaring 20’s. Have fun! Make your old-fashioned wedding as unique and individual as you are.

Enduring Memory

Your old-fashioned wedding is likely to be the most wonderful day of your life. Create a wedding experience that will be an enduring memory long remembered by both of you and your guests.

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Room for the Groom

Is There Room for the Groom?

Most weddings suppliers are ‘bride-centric’ meaning they focus on and market to brides. At Say Anything Design, over 90% of our guest book trees and other unique wedding accessoriesare purchased by brides. Most of the wedding planning process (traditionally) falls to the bride and it’s easy for the groom to be unintentionally cut out of the wedding planning process.

 Common reasons include:

1. Many brides have been dreaming of their wedding for years and are anxious to implement the plan that will make their ‘perfect day’ dreams come true.

2. Offers support and assistance from female friends and family members who are excited and want to ‘connect’ with the bride (and the difficulty of not accepting such offers) creates a ‘female inertia’ that tends to feed on its own momentum.

3. Brides often don’t know what their groom is thinking, how much he wants to be involved, or how to ask for help. In the same way, grooms are often unsure what their bride desires, how much she wants him to be involved (if at all), or how to offer help.

Let’s tackle #3 first. Once we figure out how (and what) our special someone is thinking, #1 and #2 become conversations instead of mysteries.

Connections or Compartments?

There are exceptions to every rule (for couples and individuals) but most women process thoughts in terms of connections – a ‘contextual thinking style in which one thought connects to the other and all thoughts are related. In contrast, most men use a focused, linear thinking style to process thoughts one at a time, moving from one compartment to the next and dealing fully with each thought on its own.

If brides (women) are from Venus and grooms (men) are from Mars, perhaps a food analogy for thinking styles is in order. Brides (women) tend to think like spaghetti - a messy and tangled web of related connections) while grooms (men) think like waffles – an orderly series of separate and distinct compartments.

This is why when a bride says, ‘So what do you think, babe?’ her groom will often answer, ‘Are we talking about the cost of the DJ, the length of the ceremony, or the color of the napkins?’

Make Room for Your Groom

Attention Brides! Don’t sell your groom short. He has preferences and opinions that will be meaningful to both of you. He may not understand the high degree of tension and pressure you feel and might need an introduction to the strange and unfamiliar world of ‘wedding customs and etiquette.’

He is excited to marry you but probably hasn’t been dreaming and planning for this day since he was young. (Unlike you), he probably didn’t play ‘wedding’ very often as a child – unless he was forced by his older sisters.

Here are Five Rules (for engaging your groom in your wedding planning process)

1. Don’t assume that ‘I don’t know.’ means ‘I don’t care.’ If your groom says he has no opinion on the color of the invitations or doesn’t care how the napkins are folded, he is just answering a question. It doesn’t mean anything else (except perhaps that he trusts your good taste in wedding décor). Remember the compartments.

2. Don't ask for his opinion unless you really want it. If you’re having trouble with a decision and want his opinion, ask him to weigh in on the issue. But if you’ve already decided and are looking for reinforcement, don’t act like you want his input. Simply say, ‘I’m thinking about… Are you OK with that?

3. Ask specific questions. Asking your groom, ‘How do you like this one?’ is likely to make his eyes glaze over. On the other hand, ‘Which flower arrangement do you like better?’ will elicit the direct response you are looking for.

4. Tell him (specifically) what you’d like his help with. He can’t read your mind and may not know what a groom is traditionally responsible for – so give him a list. And no hinting. Hints don’t work (because he’s not trying to connect everything you say to something that happened in the past).

5. Let him know you want his help. He may perceive you don’t need or want it and may be worried about crossing your mother or BFF. If it appears that you (and your female friends and family members) have it all together, he will assume you really do have it all together and not risk creating additional pressure for you by ‘pushing’ his preferences and opinions on you.

Hope will help you make room for your groom!

See you next time…

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My Perfect (DIY) Wedding

Introduction

One great benefit of blogging for a wedding site like Say Anything Design is the great wedding stories we hear from you. Special thanks to C. Smith for sharing the following story with us. If you have a story about your romantic meet up, a special date, creative proposal, or meaningful ceremony, or memorable reception, please comment below or message us on Facebook. Let us know which of our unique wedding products you used and how it added to your special day. We love hearing from you.

My Perfect (DIY) Wedding

The fairy tale story of my courtship and wedding is proof that sometimes things that seem too good to be true actually are. As a little girl, I dreamed of a handsome Prince Charming riding up on his white steed to whisk me away to the land of happily ever after. Little did I know that my PC would use a real PC (instead of a horse) to sweep me off my feet. I met my husband online and he won my heart through a series of chats, emails, phone calls, and a very magical and romantic first date. My happily ever after dreams came true and the rest as they say is history.

No Clue

After eight months, he proposed and I accepted. It wasn’t long until that OMG moment when I realized I had no idea what I was doing. We had a wedding date, a budget, a bride, and a groom but I no clue about how to plan a wedding.

Crying Bride

They say when all else fails, make a list so I made one. It was clear that I was in over my head – dress, cake, flowers, guest list, invitations, bridesmaids, groomsmen, dresses, tuxedos, food, music, minister, photographer, and a limited budget. I looked at my list and was completely overwhelmed so I decided to sit down and have a good cry.

Game Plan

I dried my tears and created a plan of attack with my soon-to-be-husband. He would run interference on the venue, ceremony, officiant, groomsmen, programs, and invitations while I would start with the dress, cake, hairdresser and photographer. We put everything else on the back burner.

Good Friends

Within two weeks, I had lined up a friend of a friend to do my cake and a hairdresser friend from church to do hair and makeup. Another friend offered her photography services as a wedding gift. Everyone loves a wedding and we enlisted the help of a number of friends and family members (and people they knew) with the skills, talent, experience, and desire to be part of my fairy tale wedding.

Great Progress

By week six, we had crossed a number of items off our checklist and momentum was building. Our church (and venue) would provide tables, chairs, tablecloths, punch bowl, place settings, and a catering staff to serve at the reception. Sandwiches and salads were ordered from a local deli. The minister and florist were good to go and most of the decorations had been purchased. The big pieces were in place and we were down to the final touches – like a ring pillow, a unity sand ceremony set, and a thumbprint guest book.

No Gown

But I still didn’t have a bridal gown and money was running low. With my $200 in hand, we went to Goodwill to see if we could get lucky. We were about ready to leave when I spotted the designer gown of my dreams – an exquisitely perfect bridal confection of satin, lace, and pearls. It even had a train attached to it.

Big Score

Ignoring the $300 price tag, I asked to speak with the manager and somewhere between my tears of passion and two small lipstick smudges, I walked away with the perfect wedding dress for $100 (plus $100 to a friend who had it cleaned for me).

Priceless

The church was packed, the groom was handsome, I felt beautiful, and could not have been more pleased. A few months later, I came across a picture of the exact gown that I had purchased for $100. The retail catalog asking price was $5,000.

Perfect Ending

My DIY wedding was perfect, thanks to the generosity and talent of friends and family members, some successful bargain hunting activity, and a good dose of creative thinking. The best part of my perfect DIY wedding story is that I’m still living happily ever with my Prince Charming.

Thanks again to C. Smith for letting us share your story with our soon-to-be-married followers in the Say Anything Design blogosphere.

See you next time…

Weddings on a Budget

Brides on a Budget

A wedding is the celebration of a lifetime. Few milestones are as significant and planning your special day of celebration and meaningful memories is a monumental undertaking – especially if your last name does not appear on the Forbes 400 or the ‘A-List’ of Hollywood celebrities.

From Daunting to Doable

The cost of an ‘average’ wedding ($26,989 in 2012) can be daunting. Many Say Anything Design couples add a touch of tasteful creativity to their special day without breaking the bank. From a unique thumbprint tree guest book when guests arrive to the magical beauty of wedding sparklers when they send you off, brides on a budget know that little things can make a big difference.

Good News

With a little creativity and planning, even the tightest of budgets can be stretched to create an extraordinary wedding celebration without skimping on style or class. And if finances are not an issue, spending less on one day makes more available for the rest of your married life.

Here We Go

Here’s our list of 25 ways to plan a fabulous wedding without mortgaging your future:

Establish Priorities

1. Decide what is meaningful and important to you as a couple and plan accordingly. Is it the guest count, food, photographs, band/DJ, or something else that matters most to you?
2. Focus on the most important things and do them well. Don’t try to ‘skimp by’ on everything.

Ask Around

3. Who do you know that would be honored to be part of your special day?
4. Would your aunt who loves to bake provide wedding cupcakes in lieu of a traditional cake?
5. Is your brother a graphics geek who could create customized wedding invitations for you?
6. Do you have a friend in beauty school who would love to do hair and make up?
7. Does anyone in your church own a flower shop?
8. Who is the best photographer/videographer you know?
9. Would a cousin in seminary want to perform the ceremony?
10. Who could provide sound equipment or DJ services?
11. Who own a luxury car you could borrow for the day - and who could drive it?
12. The list goes on. You can still pay these people or at least cover their expenses but the savings will be as extraordinary as the results.

 

A Unique Guest Book

Choose Carefully

13. Special touches are great but be sure these ‘extras’ are meaningful to you as many of them will not be remembered. Make them count.
14. For example, a unique guest book that everyone will see and use as they arrive - one that can be framed and displayed in your home is a high impact extra.
15. Wedding sparklers are another example of an ‘extra’ that photographs well and is unique and memorable.
16. Many ‘extras’ like save-the-date notices, programs, bathroom
    baskets, guest favors, and monogrammed napkins will be quickly forgotten and are likely go unnoticed if they're skipped. Choose carefully.
17. A special wedding platter or set of unity sand vases for the ceremony can remind you of your special day for years to come.
18. Avoid buying one-time use items like toasting flutes or a cake knife/server set. The venue or caterer can provide them at no extra charge.

Cut Costs

19. Commit to a simplified décor and let the overall theme (not a tight budget) mandate dozens of elegant and less expensive choices.
20. Use single-stems instead of bouquets for bridesmaids and boutonnieres of greenery instead of blooms for groomsmen.
21. Decorate the platform with striking and less conventional décor like branches with berries or greenery instead of traditional flower arrangements.
22. Use elegant candelabra for table centerpieces instead of fresh-flower bouquets or floral sprays.

Buy Used

23. There are few better bargains than buying something used only once from someone who will never use it again.
24. From Craigslist to online bulletin boards to specialty consignment shops, everything from gowns and tuxedos to vases and votives and can be rented or purchased for next to nothing.

Be Creative

25. Plan your wedding on a Friday, Sunday, or weekday evening. Discover the ‘slow dates’ and your preferred venue will suddenly be available for much less.

Keep the Main Thing, the Main Thing

Weddings don't have to cost a fortune. And never forget that you are marrying the person you love and hoping to share your special day with family and friends. Everything else, regardless of style, class, or cost, is less important.

See you next time…